5 Ways to Convince Your Tween NOT to Use Porn

by Jan 12, 20170 comments

Most tweens are exposed (sometimes often) to pornography.  No big deal? Every kid does it? No harm done? Wrong!

Helping tweens develop resilience to the peer pressure to look at pornography is critical. Tweens need to understand why they should choose to look away.

Convince Your Tween NOT to Use Porn

So what can we do to help a 10-12 year old decide to reject porn?  Here are 5 ideas:

#1 Be willing to talk openly with your tween

As children enter the pre-teen (often called “tween”) years, their natural sexual curiosity begins to emerge. These new feelings can provoke anxiety for them. Helping children cope with their new feelings and urges is an important part of being a parent. Kids need to hear that sexual feelings are experienced by everyone and are a normal part of developing into an adult.

When parents are willing to talk to a kids about sex, kids are less likely to seek answers from their peers. Honest and open communication is the first step to convincing a tween not to use porn.

"Have you wanted to talk to your kids about pornography, but didn't know what to say?! I've felt that way for quite some time and finally found a solution - Good Pictures Bad Pictures. . . I highly recommend this book to all people with children. A must have for all parents!" - Amazon Review. CLICK HERE to learn more about Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids.

#2 Let your tween know porn is fake

Here are some ways that pornography is artificial:

  • Images in pictures are changed with a computer to make them more captivating.
  • Females often have had plastic surgery and other things done to their bodies to look different
  • Women often take drugs to dull the pain of what is done to them in porn.
  • Men are often given drugs to enhance their performance.

In other words, what you see in porn isn’t what things are like in real life.

#3 People in porn are abused

Most women who appear in porn have been sexually abused. What is usually shown in porn is extremely violent. When men hit women in porn, as is the case on almost all scenes of popular pornography, it isn’t making love, or even sex: it is sexual violencePorn often teaches that violence and sex are supposed to go together. They are not.  Women do not like to be hit, and to hit them is both damaging and abusive. When you say no to porn, you are taking a stand against abuse.

#4 Porn is designed to manipulate you

Pornographers want to hook you and then get you addicted to images that aren’t natural. Then, you will need what they produce instead of desiring what you were created to feel in a relationship with a real person. Don’t fall for this trick!

"Have you wanted to talk to your kids about pornography, but didn't know what to say?! I've felt that way for quite some time and finally found a solution - Good Pictures Bad Pictures. . . I highly recommend this book to all people with children. A must have for all parents!" - Amazon Review. CLICK HERE to learn more about Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids.

#5 Pornographers want your money

Pornographers make money by charging people for some of their sites and charging advertising on others. Even when you click on “free” porn, you put money in their pockets. But you can say no and #RefuseToClick!

Fight the porn industry by teaching kids the truth about it

As parents, we can be influential in the lives of our children by setting boundaries and providing information designed to help them make informed decisions and choices.  We must fight back against a porn industry that could render them unable to enjoy a sexual relationship with a real person in a meaningful relationship.

We need to have an ongoing conversation not just a one-time ‘talk’ with our kids about sexuality and pornography.  In the age of unlimited access to Internet porn, there is no other wise choice.

John D. Foubert, Ph.D. is the author of the new book, How Pornography Harms: What Teens, Young Adults, Parents & Pastors Need to Know (LifeRich Publishing).

 

 

John Foubert, PhD
John D. Foubert, Ph.D., LLC. is a Professor of Higher Education and Student Affairs at Oklahoma State University, National President of One in Four (www.oneinfourusa.org) and Principal of John D. Foubert, LLC consulting. Dr. Foubert is the author of ten books including his new release, "How Pornography Harms: What Teens, Young Adults, Parents & Pastors Need to Know."
Dr. Foubert's work has been featured in the Washington Post, Time, The New York Times, The Houston Chronicle, the Chronicle of Higher Education and numerous other outlets. He is a regular guest on CNN and NPR.
Dr. Foubert speaks and consults with universities nationwide and the U.S. Military in the U.S. and Europe. Dr. Foubert has testified before Congress, has been called upon by the White House about how to end rape, and conducts high level briefings at the Pentagon. He can be reached at [email protected] Follow him on Twitter @JohnFoubert.

3 Scary Things Haunting Your Kids Online

Parent Alert:  3 Scary Things Haunting Your Kids Online Halloween is just around the corner, which means that you may be carving pumpkins, getting costumes ready, buying candy, and thinking about how to keep your kids safe while they’re out and about...

What 10 Parents Learned When Their Child Was Caught in the Porn Trap [Part 2]

In this 3-part series, follow along as 10 parents describe when they discovered their child looking at inappropriate things and their journey of helping a child overcome the addictive pull of pornography—and the advice they hope to pass along. Today, we’ll examine the...

Should You Give Your Kid a Phone? Easy Guide with 3 Great Options: Relay, Gabb and ClearPhone

We agonize over when to give our kids their first phone, but what kind of cell phone to give them is becoming just as big of a question. Retailers are swooping in with phones directed at this new “first phone” market, like Relay, Gabb Wireless, and ClearPhone. But...

3 Ways Grandparents CAN Help Kids Reject Pornography

This week, one of my best friends asked me how she could talk to her daughter about pornography. The catch is, her daughter is a grown woman with children of her own. And it’s her grandkids she’s worried about.  My friend (we’ll call her Frances for fun) adores these...

Growing Up With Smartphones: Millennials Warn Parents

Young adults today straddle the line between Millennials and the upcoming Gen Z, myself included. We dimly remember the screech of dial-up, and spent adolescence transitioning from chunky flip phones to sleek smartphones. As the first generation to grow up with cell...

Get the Book

Good Pictures Bad Pictures cover

#1 Amazon Best Seller

A read-aloud book that’s comfortable for parents and empowering for kids

Get the Book

#1 Amazon Best Seller

A read-aloud book that’s comfortable for parents and empowering for kids

Get the 5-step proven plan that any kid can use to reject pornography.

Click on image to subscribe to blog.

The CAN DO Poster comes straight from our #1 Amazon best-selling book Good Pictures Bad Pictures. It's yours free when you subscribe to our blog.

Get Started →

About Us

Led by Kristen A. Jenson, author of the best-selling children’s book Good Pictures Bad Pictures, Protect Young Minds™ (PYM) seeks to help parents “porn-proof” their kids before they come across highly addictive and easily accessible internet pornography.

Learn More →

Grab your FREE Big 5 Toolkit!

Enter your FIRST NAME and best EMAIL below and hit Let's Go! We'll send your guide immediately!

Your FREE BIG 5 Toolkit Is On The Way!

Grab your FREE guide!

Enter your FIRST NAME and best EMAIL below and hit Let's Go! We'll send your guide immediately!

Your FREE Guide Is On The Way!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This